Little girl: No, no, no. Mommy calls her vagina a monkey.
–St George Island, Florida
Overheard by: say what?
Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.
–Playa Mia, Mexico
Overheard by: Peeto
Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too
Little black girl, as it starts to rain: It be droplin'!
–Elm Creek Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: Life Guard
Frat boy to others: Duuuuuude, let's go in the brocean!
–New Jersey
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine's Day.
Boy: Umm… That's really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It's not disturbing! It's for Valentine's. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?
–Tampa, Florida
Man: One small monkey bread, please.
Girl: What’s a monkey bread?
Man: I have no idea.
–Monkey Bread Café, Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl: I'm such a Jew when it comes to…
Boy, exasperated: Why can't you just say “frugal”?!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
