Little boy: I’m hungry.
Mother: Okay, we will eat in a few minutes.
Little boy: I want to cut your arm off!
–Blue Water Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lydia
Archive for the ‘Should've used a condom’ Category
I’m Rethinking the Joint Custody Arrangement
Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
It’s Spelled ‘Wilde,’ but You’ve Got the General Idea
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
…According to That Al Gore Documentary.
10-year-old boy to younger brother: All mother nature gave you is a bag of shit.
–North Padre, Texas
Let Me Guess– You’re Itching to Talk About It?
Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Probably Has Something to Do with the Location of His Brain
Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Ryan
A Portrait of the Coach As a Young Man
Eight-year-old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
What Kind Of Example Are You Setting?
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I’ve got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
You Win this Time, Mom
Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you.
–Vero Beach, Florida
It’s French for “Goes Directly to Your Thighs”
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can’t have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
