Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything!
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Little girl, no longer waist-deep in ocean: Mommy, smell my finger.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Mom, while burying her four-year-old son in the sand: Yo, did you hear what he just said? He said “don't pat too hard or my balls will explode!”
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: That's why I'm scared to have kids
Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: BGonz
Worldly hippie: So, my goal right now is pretty much to take the time to watch the sunset every day, because, you know, there aren’t that many.
Vacationing New Yorker: What is there more of than sunsets?
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Iman
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: zsaint
Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Arlene M Franks
Girl: They should make people wear shoes on the beach.
Fratboy: Why?
Girl: It smells like toes.
Fratboy: It doesn’t smell like toes. You’re smelling your lipstick.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
