Stoned girl: It’s really windy today. I wonder what it is on the Richter scale?
–Brighton Beach, United Kingdom
Overheard by: Chicken King
Girl #1: Can you get promoted?
Girl #2: Well, right now I have like the highest position I can have, unless, like, I work my ass off and get promoted to another part of the company. But I'm just not that motivated. My goal is to just get married and not have to work.
Girl #1, laughing: Yeah, I think that's everyone's goal.
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Tara
Girl: What’s the number for 411?
–Sag Main, Sagaponack, New York
Overheard by: Friend on the Beach
Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what's your fucking problem?”
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans.
–Rat Beach, California
Overheard by: where can i find them?
Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: sick of bennies
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
