Tourist standing on beach: Excuse me. Can you tell me where the beach is?
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Shannon
Woman, buying concert t-shirt: How do these run? Big? Small?
Salesman: Well, they run a little small so I usually get a bigger size.
Woman: No, no. I have just had liposuction all down my back so I want mine to be really tight.
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: SusanPC
Small boy to friend while riding their bikes: So, are you on your second pair of underwear yet?
–Pinery Provincial Park, Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: debbie
Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Overheard by: Ann
Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?
–York Beach, Maine
