Girl #1: Don’t go skinny dipping here.
Girl #2: Why not? That blind person is the only guy around.
Blind guy: I’m blind, not deaf. Now I can use the sound of your voice to project an image of you naked in my head. [He pauses for a moment.] It’s not pretty.
–Westhampton Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: amanda fox
Tiny mullet kid: Spank the hiney! Spank the hiney!
Surfer passerby: Spank the hiney? Awesome!
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Little boy: I like pizza!
Older guy: Me too.
Little boy: I eat pizza in a garbage pail!
–Sun & Surf Beach Club, Atlantic Beach, New York
Overheard by: Kristen
Airhead girl, trying to pick up boys: Oh, you go to [name of college]. We go to [name of college right next to it]. (thinks) We're sophomores now, right?
Airhead girl friend: Yeah, I think so.
–Sunset Bay, New York
Overheard by: defsophomore
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Girl to friend: I can't tell if he's hot either, because I don't know how much money he has.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara
