New York

Chick #1: So like, I shaved my legs and then went to this party and there was this toootally hot guy there, but he didn’t want to hook up with me.
Chick #2: Well, I have this theory that you only get action when your legs are hairy.

–The Hamptons, New York

Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Son: Mommy, why haven't the sharks ripped those other fish apart?

–New York Aquarium, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay?

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Nikki

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York

Girl: It's funny, when I first met you, you were a virgin, and now you fuck everybody!
Guy, whining: Shut up!

–Smith Point, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tom and Katie

Scrabble girl #1: Rasheeon?
Scrabble girl #2: It’s “ration.”
Scrabble girl #1: I don’t think that’s a word.
Scrabble girl #2: Come on! You know, like in Cambodia, you get your daily food rations.
Scrabble girl #1: You can’t use Cambodian words.

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Andrew

Guy to friend, in thick New York accent: Let's go on the cyclone and get the fuck outta here!

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Preston

Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I'm not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!

–Coney Island, New York

Blonde teen: I don't know what she's doing, pole dancing isn't even sexy.
Teen boy: It is, if you do it right!

–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York