Money

Man on cell: Yeah, Paul* and I aren't friends anymore. He used my credit card and owes me $4000. Plus, it probably doesn't help that I've been having sex with his mom… repeatedly.

–Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Amused Passenger

20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”

–Siesta Key, Florida

Girl to friend: I can't tell if he's hot either, because I don't know how much money he has.

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: sara

Family man #1: So, all three of your kids will be in college at the same time? That will be expensive.
Family man #2: Yeah, so I hope that they are all talented so they can get scholarships or they are all so dumb that they can’t get into college.

–Robert Moses Beach, New York

Bro: So like, the thing to know about credit cards is, like, they're a totally good way to build credit.

–Santa Barbara, California

Short sister: If I were to be in a porno with anyone, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sister: I'm not risking my dignity to be in a porno with my sister. No matter how much you're paying me.

–Lake Kalamalka, Vernon, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Sounds like a good time to me.

Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.

–Ft. Walton Beach, Florida

Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party

Mom: If you drown, I won’t save you. Don’t you dare get in that water!

Son runs into the ocean

Mom: Son of a bitch. He can’t swim, and my suit can’t get wet. Do I really have to choose, because this bikini was pretty damn expensive.

–Belle Harbor, Queens, New York

Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.

–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon

Overheard by: Nicolien

Eight-year-old boy to random adult: I want to be a terrorist just like my grandpa!
Shocked random adult: Wouldn't you rather be a police officer or a Texas Ranger or something?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don't get paaaaaid!

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Rachel Marie