Moms

Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don't say you don't know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!

–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: halliefaith

Mom to four-year-old son and two-year-old daughter: When that bird shits on you, I'm gonna laugh.

–Madeira Beach, Florida

Overheard by: touched by an uncle

Ten-year-old girl to mother, excitedly: I have the right to choose!

–Royal Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Penelope

Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too

Woman, to teenaged daughter: Too bad he’s a pedophile. I was going to ask him to DJ for your party.

–The Esplanade in Capitola, California

Overheard by: Katie O

Mother to son: What did he tell you about playing on his mound?

–Riis Park Beach, New York

Overheard by: Britt

Four-year-old boy scampering on shore: She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs!
Mom wading in water: Stop saying that!
Four-year-old boy: But you do… They’re all over down there!

–Sharky’s Beach, Port Charlotte, Florida

Little boy: Mommy, dolphins don't have gills!
Mom: Yes they do, honey; all fishes have gills.

–Hawaii

Overheard by: Sarah

Mom to child: Now, don’t get all sandy!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Emily

Little girl, pointing to man in Speedo: Mom, what’s that?
Mother: That’s his swimsuit.
Little girl: No, what’s in his swimsuit?

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware