Kids

Little boy to friend: Ryan, do you want this hermit crab to pinch your nipples now or later?

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: MsKrabs

Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandy

Little boy: Ew, dad! Look! Dog poo!
Father: No, I think that's bat poo.
Little boy: Batman's poo?

–Byron Bay, Australia

Kid, looking out at the Atlantic ocean: Is that the ocean?
Dad: I think it's one of the great lakes.

–Boardwalk, Atlantic City, New Jersey

Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.

–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith

Mom, pushing crying three-year-old: You cannot cry here! Wait till we get back to New York, where it s snowing, to cry!

–Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico

Overheard by: i wanna cry too!

Boy: Good looks!
Girl: Good looks?
Boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.

–Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York

Overheard by: Sparky

Little girl, pointing at a couple making out: Hey! Look, daddy! We have to stop and stare now.
Dad: Shh! No, sweetie. What they are doing is rude, but staring is rude too.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?

–Goleta Beach, California

Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?

–Goleta Beach, California