Idiots

Girl #1: Yeah, that is unless I morph into a…
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: What's so funny?
Girl #2: You said “morph,” it's a funny word.
Girl #1: Is it? I thought we both used it in everyday conversation.
Girl #2: Do we?
Girl #1: I don't know… (giggles) Morphs… It is a funny word!
Girl #2, laughing: Morphs!

–Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: intelligent conversation..

Bearded hipster: I live with my mom… You know, because she's Canadian.

–Bradford Beach, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Trying to Enjoy the Beach

Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.

–Boarding a cruise ship

Suburban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Suburban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would never touch the stuff.
Suburban man #1: Why?
Suburban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I believe in gayness, but I just don’t think gay people can make beer.

–Lake Waubeeka, Connecticut

Overheard by: Hametuka

Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.

–Corolla, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?

–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Guy: My god, what is that?
Chick: What?
Guy: This thing here. Medical waste is washing up on the shore.
Chick: What are you talking about?
Guy: Right there. It’s a breast implant.
Chick: It’s a jellyfish, you ninny.
Guy: … I wondered why there were so many.

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

OC dude #1: So, like, when you were at college, did you have to do your own laundry?
OC dude #2: Yeah.
OC dude #1: That sucks. I had to do my own laundry for, like, a year.
OC dude #2: It’s actually not that bad.
OC dude #1: Yeah, it actually makes you feel really responsible.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Lena

Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?

–Long Beach, New York

Girl #1: She wants me to move to Philadelphia after college, because she has family in Pennsylvania and she wants to visit me.
Girl #2: Why would she want you to move to Philadelphia and not Pennsylvania?

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD