Their Brains Are in a League of Their Own

Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who?

Debate goes on for several minutes.

Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie!

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Posted on June 9, 2023
About celebrities, Arts, Feelings, History, Idiots, Massachusetts, Movies, Physical Appearance, Stupidity

Introducing, the Most Articulate Man in New Jersey

Italian guy about cars with undercarriage lights: Look at these shitheads with the fucking shit on their fucks!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: quazarfreez

Posted on June 4, 2023
Gripes, Idiots, New Jersey

No, It's Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace

Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.

–Aruba

Posted on June 1, 2023
Central America, Default, Geography, Idiots, Stupidity, Teens, Tourists

See the Colossus of Rhodes?

Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Posted on May 24, 2023
Idiots, Lifeguards, Stupidity, Virginia

Later We'll Eat Out of the Dumpster to Tune Up Our Immune Systems

Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on May 23, 2023
Delaware, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Smoking, Stupidity

Please Explain How

Man in skirt to bald woman: Seriously… Marijuana-fueled cars. It’d be great! Everyone would be high, and we’d have clean air!

–Avon, New Jersey

Overheard by: Tomatilla

Posted on May 17, 2023
Drugs, Idiots, New Jersey

…We'll Come Down From the Acid

German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…

–Los Angeles, California

Posted on May 16, 2023
California, Geography, Idiots, Stupidity, Tourists

In Case of Emergency, We Use Fat Virginians

Woman: So, since the hurricane is coming, are they going to put up the hurricane shield?
Municipal employee: Hurricane shield?
Woman: Yes, the hurricane shield. Doesn’t the city have a shield you put up to block the wind and such from the hurricane?!
Municipal employee: Ma’am, no such thing exists.
Woman, sarcastically: Well, aren’t you guys just the most prepared beach town in America!
Municipal employee: Have a wonderful day, ma’am.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Cebastian