Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.
–Boarding a cruise ship
Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.
–Boarding a cruise ship
Suburban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Suburban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would never touch the stuff.
Suburban man #1: Why?
Suburban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I believe in gayness, but I just don’t think gay people can make beer.
–Lake Waubeeka, Connecticut
Overheard by: Hametuka
Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.
–Corolla, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Guy: My god, what is that?
Chick: What?
Guy: This thing here. Medical waste is washing up on the shore.
Chick: What are you talking about?
Guy: Right there. It’s a breast implant.
Chick: It’s a jellyfish, you ninny.
Guy: … I wondered why there were so many.
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
OC dude #1: So, like, when you were at college, did you have to do your own laundry?
OC dude #2: Yeah.
OC dude #1: That sucks. I had to do my own laundry for, like, a year.
OC dude #2: It’s actually not that bad.
OC dude #1: Yeah, it actually makes you feel really responsible.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Lena
Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?
–Long Beach, New York
Girl #1: She wants me to move to Philadelphia after college, because she has family in Pennsylvania and she wants to visit me.
Girl #2: Why would she want you to move to Philadelphia and not Pennsylvania?
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
American girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in India? A Sherpa. That would be so cool.
American girl #2: What’s a Sherpa?
American girl #1: It’s, like, a people endemic to the Himalayas. You can buy one, and they carry your stuff for you.
American girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Wish I were Canadian
Dude #1: That cloud over the moon looks like the number three! Dude, that is crazy!
Dude #2: Why is that crazy?
Dude #1: Because that was Dale Earnhardt’s number. It’s like he’s speaking to me!
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: Gambitgirl
