Idiots

Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Laughing Local

Girl #1: Come on, get in the water.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl #3: No way! There are sharks!
Girl #1: There aren’t any sharks.
Girl #3: Oh yeah? Then why are there so many bubbles?

–Robert Moses Beach, New York

Girl #1: Hey, I really want to get rid of my short-tan, but I need to change into my bathing suit bottoms.
Girl #2: Go ahead. No one will notice.

Girl #1 takes off her shorts and is about to take off her thong.

Girl #2: Jenny, I was just kidding! Put your shorts back on!
Girl #1: Oh, shit!

–Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: sun-lover

Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.

–Morro Bay, California

Overheard by: Colin

Tourist guy: How will we know when we get to the beach?
Bus driver, staring at him: I think you’ll figure it out.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: SYDNEYGUY

Dude #1: … And the Hamburglar would go to law school.
Dude #2: No, he’d be a photographer.
Dude #1, after long pause: Yeah, you’re right.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Mayor McCheese

20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”

–Siesta Key, Florida

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather

Man looking at the Atlantic: So where’s the ocean?

–Cocoa Beach Pier, Florida