Gangsta kid to girl, on date: You see this spot right here? This is where Forrest Gump…stopped runnin'!
Girl, in disbelief: No way!
–Ocean City Boardwalk, Maryland
Overheard by: Tyler
Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Girl: I’ve counted more than 70 sparkly purses on the boardwalk tonight. What’s wrong with these people?
Guy #1: Every year it’s a new beach trend.
Guy #2: You’ve counted 70 purses? The question is what’s wrong with you.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Man #1: Hey, man, what you doing?
Man #2: Oh, nothing. Just watching this whore getting a customer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been standing here for about an hour and she’s been leaning against different cars talking, getting in, leaving, and coming back. Besides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the people here.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Les
Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one “n” or two?
–Ferry, Fire Island, New York
Teen girl: It’s so freakin’ hot out! What are we gonna do?
Teen guy: We could go on the ferris wheel.
Teen girl: Are you kidding? For all five of us it would cost, like, a hundred dollars!
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rafaela
Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: KL
Drunk dude: My girlfriend said I could have butt sex with a hooker at the bachelor party if I promised never to bring up butt sex again when I get home.
–Brigantine Beach, New Jersey
Jock #1: So I heard about this champion high school wrestler on Real Sports who has no legs.
Jock #2: That’s awesome. Good for him. I never won a championship in high school.
Punk, walking by: You know what’s better then being a state championship wrestler with no legs?
Both jocks: What?
Punk: Having legs!
–Pearl Street, Beach Haven, New Jersey
Overheard by: andrew dean
