Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
Black girl with southern accent: If the world ends it's dem negro's fault.
–Tampa, Florida
Spring breaker girls to group of 30-something guys: Hey, you guys want us to take your picture for you?
Guys: Huh?
Girls: Do you want us to take the shot?
Guys: A shot? Tequila? You girls like patron? Waitress! Shots!
Girls: Wow, that was easy…
–Key West, Florida
Lady #1: You can take that dog on board?
Lady #2: Sure, but he has to be small enough to fit under the seat in front of you. And you have to pay 75 dollars for each leg.
Lady #1: 75 dollars for each leg of the dog?!
–Tampa airport, Florida
Eight-year-old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude #1: You know how your girlfriend does that thing with her tongue?
Dude #2: I’ve talked to her about that.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Hoochie to friends: Okay, girls, our goal for this weekend is to not end up on the Internet again.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Ladle
