Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!
–Panama City, Florida
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y’know, Friday afternoon — just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um…
Professor #2: The sand bar.
–Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: I love my major.
JAP #1: Okay, seriously, he is the hottest senior ever.
JAP #2: Hah, yeah he is.
JAP #1: Like, you don’t understand — I would fuck his toe if he asked me to.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: lilly
Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me.
–Treasure Island Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sara
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf…
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: tourist lover
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
