Florida

Teen girl: What'cha doing, dad?
Father: Staring at the cow.
Teen girl (looking ahead): Where?
Father: In the water.
Teen girl (frantically looking at the sea): Where?!
Father: In my imagination.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: amused book-reader

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!

–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida

Guy #1: You're from Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: I thought that place was fake. I didn't know it was a real place.
Guy #2: Borat is from England.

–Miami Beach

Girl that won't stop talking: This looks a lot like my mother's house, but the colors are more tropical because she's Puerto Rican.

–North Florida

Overheard by: Amused

Drunk girl: Wow, those cookies are sooo big! How do they do that?

–Highway 98 East, Destin, Florida

Overheard by: restaurant bitch

Little girl: Do you have a boyfriend?
Older girl: Not right now.
Little girl: Do you kiss guys on the lips?
Older girl: Well…
Little girl: Do you kiss your dad on the lips?
Older girl: Not that I can remember, no.
Little girl: You don’t kiss your dad on the lips? I kissed mine on the lips this morning!

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I'm going to poop on your chest, you'll see!”

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Captain K

Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Jonica Grompson