Drugs

Salesman: Gringo, gringo. Mexican wrestling mask, Nacho Libre!
Guy: No, dude, sorry. I already bought two today.
Salesman: Señorita, one for you?
Girl: Um, no, thanks.
Salesman: Come on… it will be something different for tonight!
Girl: If I wanted something different, we’d be at the farmacia buying Cialis.

–Puerto Nuevo, Mexico

Hot teen girl #1: Sexy llama come to mama. (throws imaginary lasso)
Hot teen girl #2 (caught in the imaginary lasso): Unce unce unce unce…yes.
Random lady to son nearby: See honey, this is why we don't eat magical mushrooms.

–Rehoboth Beach, Deleware

Overheard by: kevin

Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I've always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Max

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we're there, because I figure by the time we get there we'll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia

Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: kgw

Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.

–Pacific Beach, California

Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Drunk girl: So, what do you do?
Drunk guy: Honestly? I sell weed. And surf.

–Bar, Long Beach, California

Middle-aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle-aged man #2: Good.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Bunny