Drugs

Dude #1: So, whatever happened to that stripper you were dating?
Dude #2: It’s over. I think it’s a bad idea to date strippers. You realize there’s a good reason they’re strippers, then it fucks it up every time you go back. It’s like, you look at these hotties and imagine all the possibilities, but now, after dating enough strippers, you realize the possibilities include consoling her drunk ass as she cries about being abused as a child while she lines up another rail of coke, then tells you her secret fantasy is to see you get nailed in the ass by another dude!
Dude #1: I still want to date one.
Dude #2: … Yeah, they’re fun.

–LaHaina’s, Mission Beach, California

Overheard by: sean

Girl on drugs, rubbing random person's stomach: Your belly feels like my belly, but on someone else!

–Byron Bay, Australia

Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Boy: So you go out a lot?
Girl: Yeah. My sister thinks I’m a druggy, but I’m like, “Sure I take drugs a lot, but that doesn’t make me a druggy.”

–Beach in Australia

Stoner dude: Hey, man, I'm about to get me one a' them blunts!
Stoner friend: Ah! I don't smoke anymore.
Stoner dude: What?! Maaaan, why's everyone gotta be all tired n' shit?

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Brittany M.

Bro to another: It's the government, bro. They're putting LSD in our oceans.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: mar

Stoned chick: So, whenever I’m stoned, like this stoned, I start a sentence… And then through half the sentence, I finish another sentence I said before, or finish another idea in my head, or just start talking. It’s like I forget or something, like, my idea, and it’s like I had it all there, and stuff. You know what I mean?
Stoned guy: … That’s retarded.

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes!

Long pause.

Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess.

–English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia

Teenage girl #1: And then I was all like, “I saw ducks!”
Teenage girl #2: God, that's such a stoner thing to say!

–Granite Bay, California

Overheard by: ducks are cool

Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.

–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida