Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we're there, because I figure by the time we get there we'll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia

Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: kgw

Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.

–Pacific Beach, California

Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Drunk girl: So, what do you do?
Drunk guy: Honestly? I sell weed. And surf.

–Bar, Long Beach, California

Middle-aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle-aged man #2: Good.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Bunny

Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?

–Monte Rico, Guatemala

Overheard by: MangoJoe

Hippie, to the cat he is walking on a leash: Did you eat my pot?

–Ocean Beach, San Diego

Teenage surfer to dad: You're too old to get high!

–La Jolla, California

Student to friend: I think they should illegalize tobacco, and legalize pot.

–University Campus, Honolulu, Hawaii