Middle-aged soccer mom, incredulously: There is sand everywhere! (short pause) Like, no kidding!
–Calafia Beach, San Clemente, California
Overheard by: omg, are you kidding?!
Middle-aged soccer mom, incredulously: There is sand everywhere! (short pause) Like, no kidding!
–Calafia Beach, San Clemente, California
Overheard by: omg, are you kidding?!
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: downtown
Chick: Do you guys live here?
Guy #1: Yep, right over there.
Chick: And what about you?
Guy #2: No, I don’t live here.
Chick: Where do you live?
Guy #2: Everywhere. I’m a hobo.
Chick: No, you’re not.
Guy #2: Yes, I’m a hobo. I sleep on the beach, and I eat out of trash cans. I’m a hobo.
Chick: I want to be a hobo.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Supercharger
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring.
–Rio Del Mar Beach, California
Three-year-old girl using towel as a cape and chasing seagull: I’m prettier than you! I’m prettier than you!
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: you’re very tan
Girl: I think that bitch Ashley got me sick. You know how you can feel it in the back of your throat before it comes… Wow!
–San Diego, California
White girl, about black girl’s cat in her lap: I love your cat! Scratch that… I love your pussy!
Black girl: Haha! Yes, my big, black pussy is awesome!
White girl: I love to stroke your pussy. It’s so soft.
Guy: Your pussy vibrates when you touch it! [Cat jumps away and goes to the window.]Black girl: Sometimes my pussy gets lonely and likes to go stare out the window.
Guy: Damn! Everyone can see your big, black pussy from that window! Shameful!
White girl: Maybe your pussy needs some attention.
Black girl: Nah! Nobody wants a black pussy!
White girl: That ain’t true! Lots of people do!
Black girl: No! Everyone loves a white pussy! … You should bring out yours.
White girl: My pussy isn’t white… It’s brown with orange speckles.
Guy: Ew!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: awesome teyie
Frivolous tourist: What’s that?
Earnest tourist: That’s an aircraft carrier. San Diego is a big Navy port.
Frivolous tourist: Well, I think it just clutters up the look of the harbor.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Teresa Minnich
