California

Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: awesome teyie

Frivolous tourist: What’s that?
Earnest tourist: That’s an aircraft carrier. San Diego is a big Navy port.
Frivolous tourist: Well, I think it just clutters up the look of the harbor.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Teresa Minnich

Woman to six-year-old son and friends: Wait, so do you pronounce it “Jäger” or “gay-ger”?

–Del Mar, California

College guy, passing campus soccer field: Kick those balls, girl!

–Long Beach, California

Girl #1, shaking off sand: Oh, great, now I’m gonna have to take a shower.
Girl #2: I know, like, what’s with all the sand? Ugh, so annoying.
Girl #1: Are you serious? We’re at the beach.
Girl #2: Huh?

–Stinson Beach, California

Overheard by: einstein lives!

Hobo: Come on, people! How about this? Put a penny in my bucket and I'll go back to Venice and leave you all the fuck alone!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Zoe

Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!

–Santa Monica, California

Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.

–Starbucks, Santa Barbara

Guy to girl: There's some drunk people over there. Don't look at them.

–La Jolla, California

Sober girl: You have no idea what’s going on!
Drunk blonde: Yes I do! I am still totally relevant to what is going on!
Sober girl: Wait, what?
Drunk blonde: Oh, relevant of! Relevant of what is going on!… Aren’t these shoes sexy?

–Santa Barbara, California