Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?
–Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks
Old lady #1: You don’t see so much sea glass anymore.
Old lady #2: Yeah, people don’t litter like they used to.
Old lady #1: That’s getting to be a real problem, isn’t it?
–Montara Beach, California
Overheard by: comber
Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!
–Huntington Beach, California
Girl #1: You know what would feel really good?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: If you jizzed on my back.
–Oceanside Beach, California
Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I've had here I've never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Gary & Nadja
Middle-aged soccer mom, incredulously: There is sand everywhere! (short pause) Like, no kidding!
–Calafia Beach, San Clemente, California
Overheard by: omg, are you kidding?!
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: downtown
Chick: Do you guys live here?
Guy #1: Yep, right over there.
Chick: And what about you?
Guy #2: No, I don’t live here.
Chick: Where do you live?
Guy #2: Everywhere. I’m a hobo.
Chick: No, you’re not.
Guy #2: Yes, I’m a hobo. I sleep on the beach, and I eat out of trash cans. I’m a hobo.
Chick: I want to be a hobo.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Supercharger
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring.
–Rio Del Mar Beach, California
