Girl #1, in shade: Wanna go down to the water?
Girl #2: Sure!
Girl #2, in water: Wanna go back to the tree?
Girl #1: Yeah. I do.

–Sydney, Australia

Granddaughter: Did you have fun in Hong Kong?
Grandma: Well, yes, there was a lot of Asian food.
Grandpa: And the people were all shorter than you!
Granddaughter: Really…

–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia

Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.

–Hobart, Australia

Overheard by: JW

Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!

–Terrigal, Australia

Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?

–North Bondi, Australia

Overheard by: Ggary

Girl #1: I lost my fucking phone the other day.
Girl #2: Oh no, I hate when that happens.
Girl #1: I know, right? I never know what the time is now!

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne

Overheard by: Alex

Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…

–Gold Coast, Australia

Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.

–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Hamish The Li

Girl: So, yeah, when I get a bit of money together, I’m going to travel around Europe for bit.
Guy: Oh, yeah, really?
Girl: Yeah, I’m probably going to train around the country for a couple of months.
Guy: Oh, so like to India and stuff, yeah?
Girl: Yeah.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Harrison

Girl #1: She’s such a ditz. She’s in a band called ‘Bitch Slap,’ and they all wear matching shirts that say ‘Bitch Slap.’
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!

–Coffs Harbour, Australia