Girl on bike to family on bikes, loudly: I said my arse hurts and he said “mine doesn’t, I’m good at taking it!”

–Rottnest Island, Western Australia

Overheard by: Victoria

Girl to guy: Yeah, my parents are from Denmark, I know, it’s “Deutschland”… I’m Dutch.

–Hamilton Island Beach, Australia

Overheard by: JJ

Girl #1: Great, now we can’t go swimming.
Girl #2: Why not?
Girl #1: ‘Cause it’s raining. That’d be, like, double wet.
Girl #2: Oh.

–Ocean Grove Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Alex

Reporter: Hey girls, do you have anything you want to say to the camera?
Drunk girl #1: Hi, mum… I’m not that drunk…
Drunk girl #2: And I’m still a virgin!

–Schoolies Week, Gold Coast, Australia

Guy staring at topless girl speaks rapidly in Norwegian, then: Topless! Yay! 

–Fraser Island, Queensland, Australia

Guy on bus to friends: So the longer those titties were in front of me, the happier I became.

–Brisbane, Australia

Girl #1, looking at sand dunes: Look! A rabbit!
Girl #2: Rabbits can’t breath under water.
Girl #3: Sea hare!

–Salt Mantra, NSW Australia

Girl to friend: It’s so hot. I’m icing my nipples, and they’re not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it’s really that hot

Bikini #1: And?
Bikini #2: And what?
Bikini #1: And what happened?
Bikini #2: We had sex.

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Ggary

Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.

–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia