Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, massively, explosively pregnant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I've been wondering…
Brunette teen: If she's had her baby yet?
Blonde teen: No, I wonder if she named her baby “Ikea.”

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Jedda

Girl: How do *you* know the spaceship isn't the entrance to my entertainment centre?

–Adelaide, Australia

Overheard by: T

Aussie queer: I know that guy’s gay. That’s got to be his sister. A minute ago a guy came walking up to him that had the same look — tattoos, short hair… That’s usually a giveaway, right? Monkey’s face.
American queer: Monkey’s face? What’s that mean? Is that another Australian colloquialism?
Aussie queer: No, I was just saying the guy’s face looked like a monkey.

–Bronte Beach, Australia

Little boy: I don't want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that's the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!

–Byron Bay, Australia

Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: —No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.

–Hotel, Sydney, Australia

Drunk girl: I think I am sexually attracted to fire.
Sober girl: Yeah…let me know how that goes.
Drunk girl: It burns, but I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Mother to screaming child throwing sachets of sugar: Do that again and you won't get a babycino.

–Café, Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary

Boy: Man, I can't believe she's studying, on a Sunday! What a loser.
Girl's voice, yelling from inside house: I can still hear you…

–Gold Coast, Australia

Seven-year-old girl to friend: Kyle says he's going to go through all the girls' bags and steal their undies.

–Outdoor Swimming Pool, Victoria, Australia

Overheard by: Mr. E

Thug carrying baby strapped to chest: Yo, those lyrics were fucked up, man!
Asian gangsta: Word.

–Bondi Junction, Sydney, Australia