Animals

Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I’m great! How are you?
Woman #1: I’m great! How’s your walrus?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s fine. I’m keeping him in my living room.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Kraemer

Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: beach*blonde

American: Hey, you're from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I'm just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you're not familiar with cars, hey? It's all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that's right.

–California

Drunk girl pointing at pelican: Holy shit — a fuckin’ Pterodactyl!

–Cancun, Mexico

Teenage girl: I love carbs! I would marry them if eating your spouse was legal!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Frat boy #1: Dude, look! A sea enema!
Frat boy #2: Dumbass, it’s sea a-nenema.
Frat boy #1: Fuck. My bad.

–Sunset Bay, Oregon

Overheard by: Ahkuah Mahn

Woman to girl: These girls are acting like such dogs!
Girl to woman: Well then, meeeeeaoww, bitch!

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sheena Quintyne

Teen to friend: That boy doesn't know his bivalves from his crustaceans.

–Colonial Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I love me some bivalves AND crustaceans

Teen girl, looking at historic photos of fishermen: So like, what's a “circa”?
Teen boy: That's a kind of fish. (pointing to photo) See, that's a circa. So's that…

–Pier, Naples, Florida

Overheard by: circa 1978

Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.

–Tacoma, Washington