Animals

Fat guy on cell: I'm not interested. Throw my food at the dog.

–Rhyl, Wales

Overheard by: Jake

Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Biel

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York

Five-year-old urchin: Look how much birds there is.
New York yuppie #1: Um…
New York yuppie #2: Yeah, I hard it too.

–Mini Golf Course, North Wildwod, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Bearded man #1: Alright, man, I'll see you later.
Bearded man #2: Yeah, see ya.
Bearded man #1: I'll come by your window later and whistle for you. No, I'll do a bird call. Kaw! Kaw!
Bearded man #2: Okay, man.
Bearded man: #1: I'm a crow! I'm a raven! I love birds!
Bearded man #2: Alright, man, I hear you!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Likes birds too

Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There's bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!

–Sanibel Island, Florida

Six-year-old boy running with hot dog in hand, chased by leash-less Doberman Pinscher: Look, Dad!
Suddenly-observant father: No! Drop that meat!
Six-year-old boy, still running with hot dog in hand: But Dad, I’m learning to speak dog!

–Ocean Beach’s Dog Beach, California

Overheard by: fishwhisperer

Guy: My god, what is that?
Chick: What?
Guy: This thing here. Medical waste is washing up on the shore.
Chick: What are you talking about?
Guy: Right there. It’s a breast implant.
Chick: It’s a jellyfish, you ninny.
Guy: … I wondered why there were so many.

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I’m great! How are you?
Woman #1: I’m great! How’s your walrus?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s fine. I’m keeping him in my living room.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Kraemer

Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: beach*blonde