Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!
–Ostseebad Damp, Germany
Overheard by: Pascal
Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!
–Ostseebad Damp, Germany
Overheard by: Pascal
Tan chick on towel: So, I was like, ‘And what about the donkeys? Like, do they enjoy sex like we do?’
Pale fat chick next to her: I would guess so. I mean, I had a friend who sucked one off one time, so why not?
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: …what?
Overly sunburned woman: Oh, hey, look! A two-legged race!
–Aruba
Overheard by: Amused
Little girl: Daddy, can I kick the birds?
Dad: No.
Little girl: Why not?
Dad: Birds are nice!
–Santa Monica, California
Brooklyn kid pointing to training buoys: What are those big red things floating out there?
Lifeguard: Oh, that’s our shark fence.
Brooklyn kid: What?!
Lifeguard: Yeah, that’s our electric shark fence. It keeps the sharks out. Unless they were already in when we put it up — then they are stuck inside.
–New Jersey
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dan
Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.
–Gold Coast, Australia
A dog is humping a newlywed’s leg.
Mother-in-Law: Oh my God, don’t move. I have to get a picture of that!
Son-in-Law: Um…
Mother-in-Law: Okay, I’ve got the camera. Hump away, Curley!
–Lake Superior
