Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief
Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief
Frantic Italian woman to toddler walking along shore: Stay away from the waves! Stay away from the waves!
–Seawatch Beach, Manasquan, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mimi
Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Harell
Mother: Go play with the other kids.
Little boy, reading comic book: I don't want to.
Mother: You're going to have fun! Mike, there's no “i” in “team”!
Little boy: No, but there's an “m” and an “e.”
Father: Well, shit! My kid's smart!
–St. Augustine Beach, Florida
Overheard by: nicky
Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!
–Shell Beach, California
Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.
–Oscoda, Michigan
Overheard by: Kate
Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.
–The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The JAP
Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: tner
