White people

Preppy white girl to black guy: You just jizzed on my arm and I don’t even know you like that yet…

–Tampa, Florida

Woman: Is there anything we haven’t done yet?
Man: I haven’t fucked you with an electric toothbrush.
Woman: You’re sick.

–Santa Cruz, California

Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.

White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: PS

Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl to friend: I think he thinks ’cause he’s speaking gangsta I can’t hear him.

–Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Steph

Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick!

–Robert Moses, New York

Overheard by: Zep

Girl on cell: What? Baby, what are you talking about? Why would you want to adopt a Negro?

–Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Hana

White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?

–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Cara

Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less‐white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!

–Avon Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: NotFromJersey

White girl #1: I can feel the sun eating away my paleness!
White girl #2: I was going to say I can feel the sun busting apart my DNA…

–Caye Caulker, Belize