Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!”
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!”
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Teenage girl #1: To make a long story short, she was pretty pissed that they removed the wrong one.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah… But either way it was probably an improvement.
–Huntington Beach, California
Big burly tattooed Bostonian man: They found 'em in Jersey and Lake Michigan.
–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea
Little boy standing at pier railing, looking at beach: Look, dad! I can see America from here!
–Seal Beach Pier, California
Boat captain: C’mon, we have to go. The tide’s coming in and the island’s gonna sink!
Gullible tourist: Okay.
(soon the tourist sees the island disappearing behind them on the horizon as the boat goes back to port)
Gullible tourist: You’re right! It’s sinking!
–Boat Tour, Hawaii
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Little girl, very afraid of the toilet: No!
Girl's frustrated mother: Go to the bathroom. It's not going to hurt you. I promise!
Girl: No!
Mother: Please! I'll be standing right here. Nothing will happen.
Girl: No no no no no!
Mother: Goddammit, Kylie! You can't hold you poop in forever!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Millie
