Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Frat boy: Dude! I got so drunk last night that I got a temporary tattoo!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jon
Frat boy: Dude! I got so drunk last night that I got a temporary tattoo!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jon
Three-year-old girl: I love the bitch!
Mother: Did you just say ‘bitch’? You can’t say that! It’s beach.
Three-year-old girl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Mother, exasperated: I can hear you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jess
20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I'm fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sheph
Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: I'm still dripping.
Hot 20-year-old guy #2: Dude, you banged that chick like a month ago and you're still dripping?
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: Dude, duh! She was Latina!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Teen to friend: That boy doesn't know his bivalves from his crustaceans.
–Colonial Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I love me some bivalves AND crustaceans
