Virginia

What Happens When You Have Aunts Who Haven't Seen You in a While

Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

*Gasp*

30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

You've Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?

College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn't fly away!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Then It Won't Bother You So Much When I Lick My Anus

Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

How Men Learn Not to Confide in Women

Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

…Aiight?

Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you 'ask' someone, you have a question. When you 'axe' someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

…Aiight?

Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you 'ask' someone, you have a question. When you 'axe' someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

That's Not What "Swimmers Will Be Penalized" Means, Bobby.

Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!

–Roanoke, Virginia

Overheard by: commodore

You Know She Likes Fish

Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Making Me the Perfect Complement to Any Outfit

College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I'm neutral!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

© 2024 OverheardAtTheBeach.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist