Help Me Shake It Loose before the US Invades

Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!

–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica

Overheard by: Erin

Posted on May 8, 2023
Black people, Caribbean, Fat people, Nature, Vagina

Yet Another Reason to Love the Beach

Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.

–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Armando

Posted on April 7, 2023
California, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Creepsters, Girls, Guys, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Vagina

Did You Go to High School in North Carolina?

Dumb blonde: It's not “labia Menorah”?
Friend: No, that's the Jewish thing.
Dumb blonde: So what is it then?

–Siesta Key, Florida

Posted on March 29, 2023
Florida, Friends, Questions, Vagina

I'm Like Nature's Glade Plug-In

Friend: Mmm! Sharice, that smells good! What’d you spray?
Sharice: Girl, it ain’t no spray.
Friend: What is it?
Sharice (very loudly): Mah pussayyy, bitch!

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Suzanne

Posted on March 27, 2023
Compliments, Friends, Insults, New York, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Vagina

Her Tat Actually Says 'Stay the Hell Out'

Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her cooter right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twenty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tattoo above your vagina that says ‘Come on in.’
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll forget. Do it now. No one’s watching. [Jill lowers her bikini bottom.] I’m going to tell that person to stop telling lies about you.

–Destin, Florida