Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He's digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He's digging to China, you stupid bitch!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Marie
Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He's digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He's digging to China, you stupid bitch!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Marie
20-something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn't that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Woman: I’m starving! Let’s go get something at Burger King.
Friend: So am I. Hey, did you know that Burger King sells veggie burgers? I just found that out the other day.
Woman: Really? Veggie burgers? What do they use? Like, turkey?
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach-goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!
–Huntington Beach, California
Snack bar worker: Do you ladies need anything for your iced coffees?
Brunette 40-something: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar worker (returning): I'm sorry ma'm, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat-free milk!
Brunette 40-something: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I didn't have the heart to tell her it's the same shit.
Blonde 40-something friend: It is?
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Beach Bum
Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Townie
