Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
Guy, reading back of girl’s shirt, which says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”: I love that t-shirt! 5 cocks!
–Cherry Grove, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Tom Johnson
Aunt, looking up at the stars: What is that?
Nephew: Is this the southern or northern hemisphere?
Aunt (giggling): I have no idea.
Cousin, without looking up : That's Orion. You can see Meissa, the star at the top, that's its head. The really bright one is Rigel, that's supposed to be the knee. If you follow the constellation downwards you'll see Sirius.
(blank dumbfounded looks)
Cousin: That's, um, where the aliens from V come from.
Aunt, completely understanding : Ohhhh!
–Beaches of Koh Sumet, Thailand
Girl: I’m trying to learn some Spanish before we go to Puerto Rico in May.
Guy: I took two years of French in high school, and all I can say is ‘Donde esta la biblioteca.’
–Mexican restaurant, Kemah, Texas
Tourist woman: You know, I heard this island is completely surrounded by water all the way around!
–Coco Cay, Bahamas
Overheard by: Shelley
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There's no way he didn't know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
Guy: What's the capital of… Iraq?
Girl: Baghdad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bimbo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these countries?
Girl #1: Yeah, because they're all such fun places to go visit…
Bimbo: I don't know any capitals except like Australia.
Guy: I'm sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bimbo: That's a country?!
–Melbourne, Australia
Boy #1: Yeah, it was cool, but that bouncer searched me like crazy. He was patting my thighs and stuff. Security is crazy at that place, huh?
Boy #2: What security?
Boy #3: What bouncer?
Boy #1: You know, that big, fat guy near the entrance.
Boy #2: There was no security dude.
Boy #1: … Then who the hell was that guy?!
Boys #2 and #3 laugh hysterically.
–Venice Beach, California
Brunette: Okay, now that I have your number, I’ll just call you and then you’ll have mine.
Blonde: Oh! It’s ringing. Okay… I’m going to reject you, and then I’m going to save you… I’m just like Jesus.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
