Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.
–Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: $ue
Girl to boyfriend: I have to go to the bathroom.
Boyfriend: Okay, but just don't let anyone hit on you there.
–St. Simon's Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Layla
Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.
–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Lindsay
Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Chick #1: You can see Venezuela on a clear day from here.
Chick #2: Really?! I would love to go to Venezuela — I hear it’s a really nice island.
Chick #1: Um… Island as in South America…?
Chick #2: It’s right off of South America, right?
Chick #1: I guess you should have paid attention in geography class.
Chick #2: What does math have to do with it?
–Aruba
Overheard by: Erin from New York
Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.
–South California
Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.
–Miami Beach, Florida
