Stupidity

Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?

–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Female tourist on charter sailboat: Will this boat tip over?
Captain: No. It will go over a little bit, but it won’t tip over.
Female tourist: Good. I was worried about that.
Captain: Well, if it does, it’ll come right back up.

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Old lady: I think he's a delightful young man and so is she.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J.

Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: gunky

Boy: So you go out a lot?
Girl: Yeah. My sister thinks I’m a druggy, but I’m like, “Sure I take drugs a lot, but that doesn’t make me a druggy.”

–Beach in Australia

Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.

–Pacific Beach, California

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!

–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Pale Kid

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

American: Hey, you're from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I'm just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you're not familiar with cars, hey? It's all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that's right.

–California