Scrabble girl #1: Rasheeon?
Scrabble girl #2: It’s “ration.”
Scrabble girl #1: I don’t think that’s a word.
Scrabble girl #2: Come on! You know, like in Cambodia, you get your daily food rations.
Scrabble girl #1: You can’t use Cambodian words.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Andrew
Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.
–Boarding a cruise ship
Italian MC on the PA: Fifteen minutes to Bocce ball tournament, volleyball tournament… Sex on the beach! Beer tournament at six!
–Fortuna Beach, Grand Bahama Island
Surfer bro: Wait, isn't Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
Teen to friend: Went to the Bahamas, they had conch there. I didn't eat that, it was weird. They had really good French fries in the Bahamas, though. I like all kinds of French fries… Curly fries, spicy fries… Except for steak fries, they have too much potato.
–Key Largo, Florida
Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!
–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja
Punked out teenage girl #1 (looking at Monterey on the other side of the bay): What's that island over there?
Punked out teenage girl #2: Um, I think that's Japan.
Punked out teenage girl #1: Oh, yeah.
–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California
Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.
–Corolla, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Girl #1: Why the hell isn’t he going? We have to get someplace too!
Girl #2: It’s probably a parent.
Girl #1: Yeah, those parents are always looking out for kids’ safety. I am so not going to be one of those parents. And I will never have one of those Please Drive Slowly bullshit signs in my yard.
Girl #2: Yeah, if you don’t want me to hit your kid, keep him out of the goddamned street.
–Booth Lake, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl to athletic friend: So, Mary Anne, when you go running, like what does that mean? Is that like, really fast?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: KB
