Questions

Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.

–Tulum, Mexico

Overheard by: Tulumbum

Female tourist: So, how do they know where the islands are every day?
Male tourist: They’re chained to the sea floor so they don’t drift too far.

–Cinnamon Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Overheard by: stephen

Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid.

–Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York

Old man #1: This one girl, she let me play with myself.
Old man #2: Oh, yeah?
Old man #1: Yeah… And some of them even let you touch their tits.
Old man #2: Do you still go to Long Island for that?

–Compo Beach, Westport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Forgot my iPod

Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Drunk girl to another: Where did you get this thing? The ridiculous… Things… Store?

–Carnival Cruise, Carribbean

Cute four-year-old to slightly chubbier four-year-old digging hole in the sand: Whatcha doing?
Chubby four-year-old: You can't play with me.
Cute four-year-old: Oh. (pause) Well, you're fat. (walks away)

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: The Older Sister

Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli

Girl #1: Do you think before you speak?
Girl #2: Well, sometimes I just run my mouth off and hope what I’m saying is true. But then I figure, if it’s not, who’s going to call me on it?
Girl #1: So…tell me about what happened last night again?
Girl #2: Wait, what did I tell you? I don’t remember if I lied.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Chel Sea

Girl #1: Does Lance have a big peepee?
Girl #2: Yes, all the girls in town know! Ask his ex Barb.

–Kirkland, Washington

Overheard by: mike hunt