Hairy man with large dog, to four young women: Are you here for the day?
Hot woman: No, we’re just leaving. We have an appointment.
Hairy man: Really? What? Mani…pedi?
Hot woman: No. Sailing in Sag.
–Fying Point Beach, Southampton, New York
Overheard by: lolo
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?
–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we’re hungry. We’re gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There’s plenty of sausages right here!
–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida
Overheard by: K
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I’ll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don’t know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
–Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
Guy trying to park his car: Honey, am I straight? Am I straight?
Wife: I damned well hope so.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Shalamar
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
Tween girls: Mami, Mami, we saw shit floating in the water!
Mother: God, the sea is so big, just play somewhere else.
–Ibiza, Spain
Overheard by: thorsten
Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
Trashy looking blonde, as two girls walk into a party: Ew, why are there smart people here?
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: smart people
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
