… I Got Bet­ter

Beach bun­ny #1: I to­tal­ly slept with Bran­don last night.
Beach bun­ny #2: How was it?
Beach bun­ny #1: Awe­some. He was so fuck­ing huge he, like, broke my vagi­na.
Beach bun­ny #2: Damn. That’s say­ing a lot.
Beach bun­ny #1, hap­pi­ly: I know! I’m a to­tal whore!

–Del Mar Beach, San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Bran­don stole my girl­friend

He Would­n’t Even Eat Me

20-some­thing girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-some­thing girl #2: No. He’s a veg­e­tar­i­an.
20-some­thing girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-some­thing girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral rea­sons.
20-some­thing girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. For­get that, then.

–Long Beach, Long Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: Tara