“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
Six-year-old boy: I had to take a second year of kindergarten.
Dad: Just like your old man.
–Point Lookout Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Beach bunny #1: I totally slept with Brandon last night.
Beach bunny #2: How was it?
Beach bunny #1: Awesome. He was so fucking huge he, like, broke my vagina.
Beach bunny #2: Damn. That’s saying a lot.
Beach bunny #1, happily: I know! I’m a total whore!
–Del Mar Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Brandon stole my girlfriend
Stoner dude: Hey, man, I’m about to get me one a’ them blunts!
Stoner friend: Ah! I don’t smoke anymore.
Stoner dude: What?! Maaaan, why’s everyone gotta be all tired n’ shit?
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Brittany M.
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Bro to another: It’s the government, bro. They’re putting LSD in our oceans.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: mar
20-something girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-something girl #2: No. He’s a vegetarian.
20-something girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-something girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral reasons.
20-something girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. Forget that, then.
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Tara
Man to friend: So, I went on my knees. And then I went on my belly. And then I went on my knees again…it was hard!
–Mayan Riviera, Mexico
Overheard by: anna levi
Clothed guy: Hey, got any change?
Nude guy, waving his hands in the air: I got no pockets!
–Wreck Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
