Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.
–Nags Head, North Carolina
12-year-old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.
–Monterey Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Blonde teen: On a scale from 1 to 10, how slutty am I?
Brunette teen: 10.
Blonde teen: What? Oh my god, you bitch!
Brunette: You tried to hook up with my father.
Blonde: Oh, yeah…
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Erin
Girl #1: I was talking to Jess* the other day. She’s been home for a while.
Girl #2: Isn’t she a lesbian now?
Girl #1: Yeah, she was with her girlfriend, Michelle, who was really nice and really hot.
Girl #2: So, Jess is like the boy, right?
Girl #1: No. They are both girls.
–St. Kilda Beach, Australia
Overheard by: one of those lesbians who dates boys
Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.
–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: knee coal
Girl on cell: Hey! I’m having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by “juice,” I mean sooodaaaa.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Coworker #1: This is a weird song.
Coworker #2, listening to hip hop: You’re a weird song.
Coworker #1: He sounds like a child molester.
Coworker #2: You sound like a child molester.
–Long Beach, California
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Teenage girl #1: And then I was all like, “I saw ducks!“
Teenage girl #2: God, that’s such a stoner thing to say!
–Granite Bay, California
Overheard by: ducks are cool
woman helping small child pick out sunglasses.“that’s what sunglasses do, they keep the water out of your eyes”
–mackinac island michigan
Overheard by: jim
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
