Overheard At The Beach

Overheard At The Beach
Overheard At The Beach
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And Were Shaped Like Either a Horse or a Teacup, Depending Upon Who You Ask

New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam


  • Posted January 24, 2023
  • Quote
  • Compare and contrast, Guys, New Jersey, Rack, Size

…Although We Still Won’t Be All There.

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we’re there, because I figure by the time we get there we’ll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia


  • Posted January 23, 2023
  • Quote
  • Canadia, Drugs, Girls, Stoners, Time, Weirdness

Priorities, Ashley.

Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks!

–Cuba

Overheard by: kiki


  • Posted January 22, 2023
  • Quote
  • Caribbean, Drinking, Girls, Gripes, Questions

She’s Already Fast-Forwarded the Kid Through Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and God

Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.

–Antigua, the Caribbean

Overheard by: Ollie


  • Posted January 22, 2023
  • Quote
  • Animals, Central America, Death, Kids, Moms, Movies, Violence

If You Turn Out to Be Gay

Little boy: I can’t believe we went under. I still have that taste in my mouth!
Dad: Get used to it. You’ll be tasting that your whole life.

–Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kp & Cd


  • Posted January 21, 2023
  • Quote
  • Advice, Dads, Gripes, Kids, Massachusetts, Sensory Experiences

Lessons in Tolerance

Vendor: Hey, buy some pizza!
Chick: I don’t like bread.
Vendor: Then just eat the cheese!
Chick: I’m lactose-intolerant.
Vendor: Fro-zen yo-gurt!

–Venice Beach, California


  • Posted January 21, 2023
  • Quote
  • Advice, California, Default, Food, Girls, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Vendors

…With Your Penis Being the Obvious Exception.

Girl playing volleyball, as guy switches to her teach to even up sides: I promise we won’t suck too much…

–Adelaide, Australia


  • Posted January 20, 2023
  • Quote
  • Australia, Feelings, Girls, Sports, Wishes

From Cool Uncle to Creepy Uncle in Three Gimlets

Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!

–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California


  • Posted January 20, 2023
  • Quote
  • California, Family, Gripes, Kids, Names, Pee

Both… Neither… Whatever Turns You on, Kid

Little boy: Was that lady a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen


  • Posted January 19, 2023
  • Quote
  • Default, Hawaii, Kids, Names, Questions, Weirdness

Maybe Not. He Might Learn About Untraceable Poisons.

Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.

–Folly Beach, South Carolina


  • Posted January 19, 2023
  • Quote
  • Advice, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Money, North Carolina, Time
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