Drag queen, dressed as a princess with a mop: Come in and have a drink! Best place around!
Straight girl: What are you cleaning?
Drag queen: Girl, it gets messy around here, can't you see? (proceeds to use mop on girl's glasses)
–Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Cordelia
Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
–Brighton Beach, New York
College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I'm neutral!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente!
–Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island
Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.
–Pacific Beach, California
Guy: Um, do you know where the water is?
Lady: Cold.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: I'm still dripping.
Hot 20-year-old guy #2: Dude, you banged that chick like a month ago and you're still dripping?
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: Dude, duh! She was Latina!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Jehovah’s witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah’s witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin’ Bible! Stop talking like that!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: collin
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?