God Of­ten For­gets to Rest on the Sev­enth Day

Fa­ther: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daugh­ter #1: Why? We have com­pa­ny! Can’t we stay?
Fa­ther: I have no cov­er­age here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no va­ca­tion.
Tween daugh­ter #2: No beach?
Fa­ther: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nau­set Beach, Cape Cod, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: amazed ob­serv­er

I Am Parko, Almighty Park­ing De­ity. Give Me Your World­ly Goods or Roam the Melt­ing Streets For­ev­er!

Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: Thir­ty dol­lars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dol­lars.
Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: I should be charg­ing you the same amount as it is de­grees out­side. I should be charg­ing you like nine­ty three dol­lars.

–Hamp­ton Beach, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: arc, mich