Walkie-talkie guy #1: What’s going on?! Why are all of the fire trucks going to the north end?
Walkie-talkie guy #2: There was probably some sort of emergency!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Just Like the Earth is Made of Dead Senior Week Guys
Senior week girl: Why can’t we bring beer bottles on the beach?!
Senior week guy: Seriously… Isn’t sand made of glass anyway?
–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Kim Beegle
They Really Should Schedule the Beer Competition before the Sex
Italian MC on the PA: Fifteen minutes to Bocce ball tournament, volleyball tournament… Sex on the beach! Beer tournament at six!
–Fortuna Beach, Grand Bahama Island
And with That Attitude, You Never Will
Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: –No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.
–Hotel, Sydney, Australia
Indigenous Australians: Thanks, but We’re Not Accepting Recruits
Little boy #1: I’m getting really tanned on this holiday.
Little boy #2: Yeah, you’re turning into an aboriginal. When I grow up I want to be an aboriginal like you.
–Batemans Bay, Australia
I’m Rethinking the Joint Custody Arrangement
Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Or Am I Thinking Of Kim Jong-il?
Surfer bro: Wait, isn’t Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
God Often Forgets to Rest on the Seventh Day
Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.
–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amazed observer
I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
One Of Prozac’s Unfortunate Side Effects
Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There’s bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!
–Sanibel Island, Florida
