Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!”
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Sunny Reiser

Posted on April 28, 2023
Drugs, Girls, Gossip, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New York, Religion

We Play Checkers on It, During Long Car Rides

Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I'm sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: sara swank

Posted on April 20, 2023
Body parts, Compliments, Feelings, Girls, New York, Size, Teens

Babysitters from the Projects are Just More Affordable

Boy: Good looks!
Girl: Good looks?
Boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.

–Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York

Overheard by: Sparky

Posted on April 18, 2023
Kids, New York, Race

I've Also Decided I'm an Elderly Asian Woman This Week

Guy on cell: Yes, I'm on the beach. I told you, I'm in the Caribbean this week.

–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: debbie downer

Posted on April 18, 2023
Guys, Lies, New York, On the phone, Weirdness

Story Of My Life.

Mermaid to another: I'd be a lot less naked, but I just got sick of gluing seashells to myself.

–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island

Overheard by: shorty j

Posted on April 15, 2023
Animals, Girls, New York, Physical Appearance

'Dear Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey…'

Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.

–Jones Beach, New York