Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test.
–Miami, Florida
Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test.
–Miami, Florida
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
Girl: So, I've finally decided what I want to do in life. I'm done with modeling. I am going to create a product, and sell it for charity.
Guy: Oh, that's cool. What's the charity?
Girl: I haven't decided yet. I'm still working on it.
Guy: Oh, okay.
Girl: I need to decide on the product too.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Weasel on cell: I’m in Brooklyn now, so it will have to wait until later…
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Local
Girl with lower standards: I think you should go out with Spook. Yeah, I like him for you.
Girl with higher standards: He’s a drug dealer. Why would I want to date a drug dealer?
Girl with lower standards: He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl with higher standards: He sells me weed all the time.
Girl with lower standards: That’s just his part-time job.
–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas
Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour!
–Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington
20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente!
–Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island
