Will I Be Able To Remember You Afterwards?

Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I’m sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do?
Woman: I’m a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Hey, it’s good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business.
Woman: I’m sure it can’t.
Guy: Well then, how ’bout I just give you my number?
Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy?

–Nahant Beach, Massachusetts

Posted on January 5, 2023
Comebacks, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Jobs & careers, Ladies, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Stupidity

A Sales Pitch That's Almost As Shitty As Corona.

Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #2: Ice cold water, beer! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #1: Yo, we need wigs.
Beach vendor #2: Next time I'm wearing a pirate costume, don't get it twisted.
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona, aargh!

–Brighton Beach, New York

Posted on January 1, 2023
Business, Drinking, Drunks, Jobs & careers, New York, Shopping, Vendors, Wishes

God Often Forgets to Rest on the Seventh Day

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Posted on November 11, 2022
Dads, Family, Gadgets, Girls, Jobs & careers, Massachusetts, Stupidity, Tweens

"Book Smart," I Should've Said

Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter's friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter's friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.

–Children's Beach, La Jolla, California

Posted on October 23, 2022
California, Compliments, Friends, Jobs & careers, Moms, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

Want Some Pot?

Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.

–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach

Posted on October 21, 2022
Advice, Comebacks, Default, Jobs & careers, Kids, Rhode Island, Teachers/Professors, Time, Wishes

Should All Jane Austen Novels Be Burned? Discuss.

Girl #1: Can you get promoted?
Girl #2: Well, right now I have like the highest position I can have, unless, like, I work my ass off and get promoted to another part of the company. But I'm just not that motivated. My goal is to just get married and not have to work.
Girl #1, laughing: Yeah, I think that's everyone's goal.

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tara