Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Black woman to toddler running wild: Tyrone, get yo' black ass over here or I will spank you like a white man!
–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: White girl
Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: AP
30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you're looking for a stud. I've got the STD, all I need is “u.”
–Pacific Beach, California
Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.
–Balboa, California
Beach bunny #1: I totally slept with Brandon last night.
Beach bunny #2: How was it?
Beach bunny #1: Awesome. He was so fucking huge he, like, broke my vagina.
Beach bunny #2: Damn. That’s saying a lot.
Beach bunny #1, happily: I know! I’m a total whore!
–Del Mar Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Brandon stole my girlfriend
Stoner dude: Hey, man, I'm about to get me one a' them blunts!
Stoner friend: Ah! I don't smoke anymore.
Stoner dude: What?! Maaaan, why's everyone gotta be all tired n' shit?
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Brittany M.
Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Mom, holding bag of ashes: (whispers)
Girl: Mom, stop talking to dad! It's creepy.
–Huntington Beach, California
