Animals

Hot teen girl #1: Sexy llama come to mama. (throws imaginary lasso)
Hot teen girl #2 (caught in the imaginary lasso): Unce unce unce unce…yes.
Random lady to son nearby: See honey, this is why we don't eat magical mushrooms.

–Rehoboth Beach, Deleware

Overheard by: kevin

Dude: When I was in Florida, there was a dolphin in the water about five feet from me. I never ran so fast in my life.
Chick: Why?
Dude: When something big and black surfaces next to you in the water, you generally start to shit your pants.

–North Burleigh Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Galina

Drunk girl, rolling around in large puddle: It’s a bird bath! Get in!
Angry guy: Get the fuck out of the puddle! You’re not a goddamn bird!

–Bayard Avenue, Dewey Beach, Delaware

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Girl to friend: It was like crazy monkey sex… and then he just left.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: D

Dad to child about whale bone on display: They got that from Cape Cod’s biggest peregrine falcon monkey. It’s one of the teeth.

–Wellfleet Bay Audubon Center, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Anatomist Wannabe

Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Jonica Grompson

Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!

–Seaside, Oregon

Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.

–Antigua, the Caribbean

Overheard by: Ollie