Animals

20-something girl, floating on waves: It's like riding a cowboy… I mean, a bucking bronco.
20-something friend: Or is it like riding a cowboy who's riding a bucking bronco?

–WindMark Beach, Florida

Beach-goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: BAJAZEUS

Mermaid to another: I'd be a lot less naked, but I just got sick of gluing seashells to myself.

–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island

Overheard by: shorty j

Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?

–Goleta Beach, California

Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?

–Goleta Beach, California

Guy to girl: I'm going set up booby traps round your house!
Girl to guy: Oooh, booby traps, I like the sound of that…

–Tampa, Florida

Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat?
Lifeguard: Little girls.

–Riis Park, New York

Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.

–Lake George, New York

Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: just wanted to take a look at SEA LIONS

Teen girl: What'cha doing, dad?
Father: Staring at the cow.
Teen girl (looking ahead): Where?
Father: In the water.
Teen girl (frantically looking at the sea): Where?!
Father: In my imagination.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: amused book-reader