Weirdness

Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)

–Fort Walton Beach, Florida

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we're there, because I figure by the time we get there we'll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia

Little boy: Was that lady a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: kgw

Young black male: Yo, I wish this was an urban beach. Like Chicago.

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.

–Pacific Beach, California

Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, massively, explosively pregnant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I've been wondering…
Brunette teen: If she's had her baby yet?
Blonde teen: No, I wonder if she named her baby “Ikea.”

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Jedda

College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!

–Miami Beach, Florida

Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York