Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
Woman to six-year-old son repeatedly throughout the day: Get away from me. Go away! I said leave! I don’t want you here… Come back here where I can see you.
–Goddard State Park, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Claudia
Girl #1: Yeah, so I joined this great club at school. They went to Peru over spring break to give eye exams.
Girl #2: Oh yeah? That’s kind of far to go for spring break.
Girl #1: I thought so, too. But it’ll be better this year because they’re going to South America instead.
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
10-year-old boy #1 in the pool: The sign says no flotation devices.
10-year-old boy #2: This isn't a flotation device, it's a boogie board.
10-year-old boy #1: A boogie board is a flotation device!
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: a schooner is a sailboat
Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?
–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas
Overheard by: Maggie
Chick: Fifteen hundred isn’t a lot. That’s like a thousand… and five hundred.
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Alexis
Toddler pointing to cotton candy: I want that ice cream!
Mom: That’s not ice cream.
Toddler: What is it?
Mom: That’s insulation. It’s for your attic.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Aaron
Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.
–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ishkabibble
