Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn’t that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That’s “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it’s a scalp… you’re both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll