Sports

Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!

–Tampa, Florida

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California

Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.

–Sag Harbor, New York

Overheard by: the lerpa

Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: macdog

Kid: Wouldn't it suck if you had a boogie board with razor blades on it? It'd be like weeeee-aahhhhhhhh!

–Santa Monica, California

Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!

–Jamaica

Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto

Local dude, trying to get me to buy a jet-ski ride: You can drink and drive. It’s paradise!

–Paradise Island, The Bahamas

Overheard by: Drunken Swimmer

Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Lilian

Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That's super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: caveman

Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4!

–Cornwall, England

Overheard by: Beth