Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: macdog

Kid: Wouldn’t it suck if you had a boogie board with razor blades on it? It’d be like weeeee‐aahhhhhhhh!

–Santa Monica, California

Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!


Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto

Local dude, trying to get me to buy a jet‐ski ride: You can drink and drive. It’s paradise!

–Paradise Island, The Bahamas

Overheard by: Drunken Swimmer

Five‐year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie‐board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Lilian

Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That’s super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: caveman

Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That’s my height, I’m 6 foot 4!

–Cornwall, England

Overheard by: Beth

Girl #1: My vag hurts.
Girl #2: It’s probably from the jet ski yesterday…or that guy last night.

–Siesta Key, Florida

Overheard by: sadly not that guy

Girl to athletic friend: So, Mary Anne, when you go running, like what does that mean? Is that like, really fast?

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: KB

Teenage Indian boy to friends running across hot sand: My people do this, so I should be able to also!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Rachel