Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don’t.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don’t.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
Drunk guy yelling in hallway: I know I’ve been drinking all day, but you’re the one that doesn’t got their shit together!
–Huntington Beach, California
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I’m going to poop on your chest, you’ll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
10-year-old boy to younger brother: All mother nature gave you is a bag of shit.
–North Padre, Texas
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it’s really getting annoying, I’m like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Man to family: You should have seen her! She was pooping sandcastles!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chris
Man to wife and daughter: Hey! I’ve shat my pants before and it really wasn’t that bad, so I’d be willing to do it again.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
Dude #1: So, apparently he died from consumption.
Dude #2: Oh, man, I would hate to die from constipation… I think I almost did, once.
Dude #3: Is that what happens when you get tuberculosis?
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Juan Dude
Old black lady finishes pooping and flushes: Oh, thank you, Jesus! [Hums gospel tune.]
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lauren
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist