Mom to little boy: Get out of the water! It's time to get tested again!
–Main Street Beach, Vermilion, OH
Overheard by: Cactopus
Mom to little boy: Get out of the water! It's time to get tested again!
–Main Street Beach, Vermilion, OH
Overheard by: Cactopus
Thug to thugette: Who's that character in The Little Mermaid called? You know, that little crab nigga?
–Norfolk, Virginia
Beach cutie: So I was walking along the beach and thought I found a really colorful shell, but no! Entrails!
–Aruba
Little girl, maybe #6 years old: I want a dog! When I get my big brother, I'm going to name him killer!
–Venice Beach, CA
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
Gay guy on the beach to friend: I knew this guy once, he smoked some meth, and he was so messed up he got double penetrated… but didn't even realize it.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Chickenring
Guy trying to pick up girl: Hey you wanna go out tonight?
Girl being picked up: No.
Guy trying to pick up girl: Why not? You married?
Girl being picked up: No.
Guy trying to pick up girl: Oh, is it because of that natalie halloway shit? Omg too funny. Who brings that up when trying to pick up chicks??
–Panama City Beach
14-year-old girl to group of friends: "yeah, vodka, man, that shit is strong. Like, 14 shots and I'm done."
–Huntington Beach, CA
Girl in jeans: Did you seriously just ride side-saddle on the merry-go-round?
Girl in long skirt: Fuck you, I'm a magical fuckin' princess.
–Santa Cruz, California
Mom to #2 girls running from pool to their towel: Get away from that towel! You're wet, you don't need no towel!
–Mount Vernon NY
Mother to son: How many times can I tell you not to touch the hobos!?
–Coney Island, New York