Mom to #2 girls running from pool to their towel: Get away from that towel! You’re wet, you don’t need no towel!
–Mount Vernon NY
Mom to #2 girls running from pool to their towel: Get away from that towel! You’re wet, you don’t need no towel!
–Mount Vernon NY
Mother to son: How many times can I tell you not to touch the hobos!?
–Coney Island, New York
Mother to three‐year‐old: Will you quit playin’ with that damn sand?!
–Coney Island, New York
Four‐year‐old girl: Look daddy, I’m going to make a sand castle!
Inexplicably angry father: You know that’s not going to work! The sand has to be wet. I thought we went over this already, but you never listen, do you?
–Grand Bend, Canadia
Overheard by: Castle
Dominican teen girl: Yo, I shouldn’t be telling you this because you my sister’s boyfriend but… My nipples. I like them.
–Jones Beach
Overheard by: sara
a mom is comforting her son who hit his head.
Grandma: Don’t worry, your grandfather used to get drunk and run into the wall. Then he would get angry and start punching it!
–A Beach in Utah
Drunk woman screaming into a smoke shop: There’s a bunch of whores out here! Whooooooo!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Nidonemo
4 year old boy running after and pointing at a seagull: “shark”
–Balmoral Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Esquire
Guy #1: So step one is where she’s peeing and he comes in to pee and she spreads her legs far to open up a space into the toilet and he pees in that space. Guy #2 no, step one is where she’s really drunk and he’s really drunk and she’s in the bathroom peeing and he barges in to pee too and she doesn’t freak out.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, that makes more sense. There’s a progression.
Guy #2: So then what you said first is step two and then step three is where they’re both drunk and she’s peeing and he walks in the bathroom and not only does she not freak out, but she allows him to dip his hand in her stream of urine.
Girl: What the fuck? Why would he do that?
Guy #1: That’s just how he rolls. But you see the progression, right? And the whole point is that if she doesn’t freak out, she’s a keeper.
–Tybee Island, GA
Overheard by: Can’t concentrate on my book
Guy #1: So step one is where she’s peeing and he comes in to pee and she spreads her legs far to open up a space into the toilet and he pees in that space. Guy #2 no, step one is where she’s really drunk and he’s really drunk and she’s in the bathroom peeing and he barges in to pee too and she doesn’t freak out.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, that makes more sense. There’s a progression.
Guy #2: So then what you said first is step two and then step three is where they’re both drunk and she’s peeing and he walks in the bathroom and not only does she not freak out, but she allows him to dip his hand in her stream of urine.
Girl: What the fuck? Why would he do that?
Guy #1: That’s just how he rolls. But you see the progression, right? And the whole point is that if she doesn’t freak out, she’s a keeper.
–Tybee Island, GA
Overheard by: Can’t concentrate on my book
