Kids

Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don't say you don't know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!

–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: halliefaith

Little girl: No, no, no. Mommy calls her vagina a monkey.

–St George Island, Florida

Overheard by: say what?

Mom to four-year-old son and two-year-old daughter: When that bird shits on you, I'm gonna laugh.

–Madeira Beach, Florida

Overheard by: touched by an uncle

Jehovah’s witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah’s witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin’ Bible! Stop talking like that!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: collin

Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!

–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Go Kid Go!

Ten-year-old girl to mother, excitedly: I have the right to choose!

–Royal Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Penelope

Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast!

–Long Island, New York

Little black girl, as it starts to rain: It be droplin'!

–Elm Creek Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: Life Guard

Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Arlene M Franks

Little boy: Guess what?
Man: What?
Little boy: On the count of three, I’m going to turn into a dinosaur.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: Ever