Kids

Kid #1: After this, we should sunbathe.
Kid #2: I don't want to sunbathe.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: I just don't.
Kid #1: But then you can get a tan!
Kid #2: I don't want a tan.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Because it sounds like “sand,” and I hate sand.

–Camping Ground, Kerikeri, New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly

Guy standing in front of store: I can't believe it! That little girl just said “asshole”! I can't believe it! (gestures at two-year-old inside parked car)
Little girl: Asshole!
Guy: I can't believe it that little girl said “asshole” again!
Mother: Ni-iiice.

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

Little boy wearing rash guard: Mom, that little boy isn't wearing a shirt.
Mom: Mmm-huh.
Little boy: Why doesn't he have to wear a shirt?
Mom: Because his mom doesn't love him, that's why. He'll get skin cancer and die.

–Salisbury Beach, Massachusetts

Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sheph

Five-year-old at the beach: This is the worst day of my life!

–Brighton, England

Six-year-old boy, fully dressed in Lacoste: I am almost your age.
Father, fully dressed in Lacoste: You are not almost my age.

–Atlantis Resort & Casino, Bahamas

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

Kid: Yo, that chair’s sweet! How come you get to sit in that big chair? I wanna get one of them.
Lifeguard: Sorry. I just got here really early this morning before all these good chairs were taken.

–Riis Park, Rockaway, New York

Little boy to friend: You wouldn't even know about Jesus if it wasn't for me!

–Wild Wood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Andie

Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top!

–Long Island, New York