Kids

Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why.

–Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings

Nine-year-old boy #1 (yelling): My penis! My penis just closed!
(pause)
Nine-year-old boy #2 (yelling): Cool!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Chandler Smith

Six-year-old to mother: A big wave just came and knocked me down and carried me away and some lady helped me up.
Mother: Why didn't your father help you up?
Six-year-old, in sneering voice: Cuz he was too busy going “hahahahaha!”

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: just the Aunt

Little girl: Who would kick someone else’s kid?!

–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Lorraine

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York

Mom: Are you ready to go?
Little girl: No!
Mom: Okay, let’s go!

–Sarasota, Florida

Overheard by: wondering why she bothered to ask

Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail!

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman

Little boy #1: I'm getting really tanned on this holiday.
Little boy #2: Yeah, you're turning into an aboriginal. When I grow up I want to be an aboriginal like you.

–Batemans Bay, Australia

Kid #1: After this, we should sunbathe.
Kid #2: I don't want to sunbathe.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: I just don't.
Kid #1: But then you can get a tan!
Kid #2: I don't want a tan.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Because it sounds like “sand,” and I hate sand.

–Camping Ground, Kerikeri, New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly

Guy standing in front of store: I can't believe it! That little girl just said “asshole”! I can't believe it! (gestures at two-year-old inside parked car)
Little girl: Asshole!
Guy: I can't believe it that little girl said “asshole” again!
Mother: Ni-iiice.

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: ISPgypsy